As a white woman who is committed to living my life as an anti-racist, there are a few important things I choose to practice in my thinking/looking/living. First, from the teachings of Derrick Bell and Critical Race Theory, I believe in the Permanence of Racism~that racism is consistently present in our thinking and actions. For me this means that being an anti racist, regardless of any level of consciousness or my best intentions, is having to constantly examine where the indoctrination of racism appears in my mindset (no matter how seemingly small) and ensure that I am making intentional choices in how I choose to move forward vs. falling back on any default behaviors. This is no easy way of being. It means constantly acknowledging how my whiteness shows up in my thinking and how others skin color impacts that thinking. This leads to the second practice for me in this commitment which is remembering that identifying racist thinking and actions in myself does not make me a racist. It means that I WAS TAUGHT TO BE ONE by society and the art of interrupting starts with acknowledging there is something to interrupt! Pretending there is nothing there because of our fear that we are racist or believing that consciousness about racism is sufficient, is actually being committed to racism. When I look, sometimes racism shows up for me as an internal dialogue that says "I know best" or a Great White Hope saves the day story, which leads to lessening my listening to other perspectives. Other times it shows up as having a visceral response to a person of color, often someone I don't know, that generates an unfounded fear or suspicion. Being honest about this is hard...but NOT being honest about this perpetuates racism, which is the opposite of my declared and practiced commitment. Finally, remembering that the people most IMPACTED by racism are NOT responsible for helping me to see how racism plays out in me is essential. Asking those that bear the burden of any "ism" to add more to their burden by helping me with my "blind spots" is one of the ways in which the privilege of the oppressor rears its ugly head and perpetuates oppression.
So...I'm clear about this as it relates to racism and how I choose to engage interrupting it. Why is this less clear for me as a woman who seeks partnership with men? Oh, I know...my internalized sexism would have me believe that I'm not worthy of the following consideration.
Imagine how this would play out...
First, a commitment from any man that I'm in ANY relationship with that misogyny and sexism always exists in our dynamic. There would be no debate about whether or not patriarchy is playing out in our relationship, just acceptance that it must be something to look for if we are committed to interrupting it. Also, it would mean that men (and women) would be practicing that finding examples of sexism in our thinking is NOT what makes us sexist. We'd remember that patriarchy is the way we've been trained and, if we want to dismantle that training, the work is for men to look for how they are perpetuating the oppression of women and for women to look for how we are accepting/expecting that oppression. Woah. When I look, I see how I'm supposed to keep it all together to serve and support men and put my needs last. I see when my perspective is blown off and not considered how 1. misogynistic that is and 2. how sexism plays out in my reaction when I second guess how valuable my perspective was in the first place and 3. how quickly I move to smooth things over, as if disrupting the comfort of men is a problem. As if disrupting the comfort of men is a problem. If all men were willing to get to the root of their thinking when misogyny appears and practice the belief that women are equal and worthy instead of whatever they were thinking when the awareness of their sexism was showing up, WE ALL would be making much greater headway in the world. Period. (Pun intended).
Finally, depending on me to point this out to you (and often fighting it while I am) is added weight on the already absurdly long list of burdens I bear as a woman dedicated to being treated as the brilliant, worthy, and powerful human being I am. Just believing in my brilliance, worth and power makes me TIRED. Practicing that and demanding that I am seen that way has me REAL TIRED. So, men....can you do me a solid and do the work on your own to look for where YOU treat us as if we're lesser than you? Even if you are "CONSCIOUS" and belong to some communities that are down for women? In fact, especially then. I promise I'll have a lot more energy, you'll benefit from my gratitude and happiness and the world will be a much better place with you working to leave no trace of patriarchy behind you.
Now, the question is...are you READY for me to have a lot more energy? This is me tired. :)
"Finally, depending on me to point this out to you (and often fighting it while I am) is added weight on the already absurdly long list of burdens I bear"
ReplyDeleteExactly. I am so tired of having this conversation - that I am an intelligent person, with my own needs, wants, dislikes, and being treated that way isn't an insult to another person - that I tend to isolate myself more than I would like.
The lyric poet Julia de Burgos was an Afro-Puerto Rican nationalist who spent most of her adult life impoverished in New York City, teaching and writing, and chronicling her contradictions in blistering Spanish-language poetry. She was a brilliant, beautiful feminist woman who sought support where it was most transient among the mid-century left. What we have of a complete work are the Agueros translations.
ReplyDeleteIn this blog, it is only after halfway through the first paragraph that a reader gets a remotely visceral response to the subjects. What does all of this do to you as a human being, not as a subject that happened to come up this week? What does it truly mean to be an ally to us "others," who sometimes engenders fear or repulsion in you? What is at risk here? Only how one is seen by others?
The conflagration of sexism and racism is interesting, for to truthfully engage her self in the world, the writer needs to more fully come out of herself. One essential different is that these are, on some level, topics which can be set down and picked up again at will. (If not, how so?) With racism, as Tim Wise so clearly points out in "White Like Me," people may not seek out the discussion, but it shadows us daily.
.
Agüeros’s translation appears in the hefty Curbstone Press edition, Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos.
TO JULIA DE BURGOS
by Julia de Burgos
Already the people murmur that I am your enemy
because they say that in verse I give the world your me.
They lie, Julia de Burgos. They lie, Julia de Burgos.
Who rises in my verses is not your voice. It is my voice
because you are the dressing and the essence is me;
and the most profound abyss is spread between us.
You are the cold doll of social lies,
and me, the virile starburst of the human truth.
You, honey of courtesan hypocrisies; not me;
in all my poems I undress my heart.
You are like your world, selfish; not me
who gambles everything betting on what I am.
You are only the ponderous lady very lady;
not me; I am life, strength, woman.
You belong to your husband, your master; not me;
I belong to nobody, or all, because to all, to all
I give myself in my clean feeling and in my thought.
You curl your hair and paint yourself; not me;
the wind curls my hair, the sun paints me.
You are a housewife, resigned, submissive,
tied to the prejudices of men; not me;
unbridled, I am a runaway Rocinante
snorting horizons of God’s justice.
You in yourself have no say; everyone governs you;
your husband, your parents, your family,
the priest, the dressmaker, the theatre, the dance hall,
the auto, the fine furnishings, the feast, champagne,
heaven and hell, and the social, “what will they say.”
Not in me, in me only my heart governs,
only my thought; who governs in me is me.
You, flower of aristocracy; and me, flower of the people.
You in you have everything and you owe it to everyone,
while me, my nothing I owe to nobody.
You nailed to the static ancestral dividend,
and me, a one in the numerical social divider,
we are the duel to death who fatally approaches.
When the multitudes run rioting
leaving behind ashes of burned injustices,
and with the torch of the seven virtues,
the multitudes run after the seven sins,
against you and against everything unjust and inhuman,
I will be in their midst with the torch in my hand.
* * *
I am so grateful to you for all of this....the poem, the analysis, the questions. You are clearly a brilliant teacher.
Delete"In this blog, it is only after halfway through the first paragraph that a reader gets a remotely visceral response to the subjects. What does all of this do to you as a human being, not as a subject that happened to come up this week? What does it truly mean to be an ally to us "others," who sometimes engenders fear or repulsion in you? What is at risk here? Only how one is seen by others?"
What this does to me, as a human being, is force me to step into spiritual freedom as an act of revolution. Not the freedom that comes with my privilege, but freedom to confront the realities of my privilege, shed the shame and crippling guilt (see April and Aug 2011 blogs) that could allow me to NOT confront how I perpetuate racism every day. Choosing to practice non judgment of my self and others as a tool to be real is an exhausting and liberating roller coaster. It allows me to face and release judgment when I am feared or repulsive to people of color. What is at risk? By not being willing to do whatever it takes to decimate my fear and confront that which gets in the way of my perpetuating oppression means the continued genocide and imprisonment of children and people of color in the US. In short, I risk my spirit when I'm unwilling to engage. I've only recently realized the same is true for me when I'm unwilling to engage being a stand to stop the oppression that I experience. And, they are not mutually exclusive. I must practice the same choice to be free to confront, examine and be a stand for the brilliant and powerful woman I am. This, too, is an exhausting and liberating roller coaster. Thank you for pushing me deeper. All love.
Thanks, but it's probably brilliant by association -- heard Sonia Sanchez read last week and we spoke a bit afterwards. My head is still buzzing, and I'm still smiling. And this spring, I set down teaching at universities after 21 years. Will keep a community creative writing workshop for GLBTT seniors in the neighborhood.
DeleteOne summer, our Women's Studies (now renamed to include Queer and Men's Studies) had a one-day retreat to kick back and touch base on the focus to our work together. The purported topic was color, class and gender -- most of the WS course offerings included this phrase in their course descriptions. The group was tenure-track and full-time contingent faculty; I was one of the few adjunct contingent, and I think the only Latina. There was one African-American grad. student present. Various sexual orientations. I say this before sharing my one question to the group, for context: just how do you incorporate "color, class an gender" in your methodology in the course? What skills were taught, and from what perspective? There was silence, and not a single, comprehensible answer. I was really curious, not accusatory. Tho with faculty affiliate status, I never was asked to teach, and my suggestions for courses were never picked up. These people all taught in WS. If this phrase was essential enough to need to be included, how did it work?
DeleteThere was so much goodness in that entry, Thank You.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder a bit about the analogy between racism and sexism. On one hand, they are very clearly close cousins - male supremacy and white supremacy rely on the same dynamics that limit the contributions of the other (whether that is women or people of color). On the other hand, white people can still decide, in this country, to live a life almost completely in isolation from people of color, and therefore fool themselves that racism has nothing to do with them. Very few men (no straight men), can live in isolation from women (or the affect of the lack of female companionship).
The reason why I find that distinction to be relevant is that sexism is very limiting for men. It keeps us from getting to some of the most interesting ways of being that any human can be. Those ways of being that we have called feminine are off limits to man who suffers from unexamined sexism. And that seems to me that sexism is also very limiting to the women who blindly or even openly accept the limits that sexism places on them.
As a man who calls himself a feminist, I gladly take on the role of calling my fellow men (including myself) on our sexism. My hope is that more and more men will step up to that plate. As men, we certainly have a lot to gain from a world free of sexism. It's only fair that we share the burden in creating it.
I hear that...and would say that "live" in isolation of POC would require a very vapid definition of the word. But, I hear the point. :)
DeleteGreat to read you sharing your process, with compassion and curiosity.
DeleteThank you for this--as always you inspire me with your reflection and commitment to digging into what doesn't work in the world, engaging your community in dialogue to take this "problem" to the next level in a way we can all learn from.
ReplyDeleteI think it is important to note that what often supports people in their ability to identify a belief/brain pattern as limiting and then create a new belief/brain pattern to replace it is either need--their physical or ego survival is at stake, e.g. the addict's bottom--or more capable peer (yes, I am using a Vygotsky reference, so excited)--someone who sees both the other's belief/perspective and the much larger human potential behind it and can reflect back at the person that they are bigger than their brain patterns and has them engage the inconsistencies often apparent from our old beliefs.
When we cannot be that space for others, for whatever non-judged reason, of age, gender, race, class, or intimacy patterns, our and their best bet is to name what we see, what it triggers in us, and ask for what we need or think we might need from the other. If I am tired or if the process is hard, it is because I am engaging their limiting belief with my limiting belief, and my tired and my hard are my responsibility. AND I am committed to creating more and more space where each and every can actually get the benefits Brian pointed to of confronting our own racist, classist, sexist, speciesist, ageist, or otherwise limiting beliefs, the impacts of those beliefs, and create ones that have the world be that much more compassionate for all.
I have had so many people be that loving space for me, been that loving space for others, had people not be able to be that space for me, and not been able to be that space for others. Thank you for being someone who is much more often than not, that loving space for me.