HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH TO ME!!! It's a whole new kind of March Madness....are you ready?! I am! :) As I focused on starting with self to get to global transformation, it turned into my longest blog ever. Also, I went link crazy today....there's tons of great links in here. I hope you enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed writing it today.
Yesterday was one of those days that started with a fork in the road and an opportunity to choose how I would create this day for myself. On one hand, there was so much to get done, an impending scary doctor appointment and a crowded event that I had to rush to deal with the hassle of parking and waiting in a long line right after said doctor's appointment. On the other hand, it was a BEAUTIFUL day in Oakland, I had the blessings and resources to take the time to go food shopping for healthy and nourishing food for the week, thoughtfully engage in reviewing resumes for an amazing person to fill the interim position I hold (launching me into the next phase of my career and spiritual path), access my health insurance and amazing doctors that enabled me to be proactive in dealing with a potentially scary health situation (don't stress ya'll, it'll be fine but I'm emphasizing the blessing of having access and support in a situation that left unchecked could have been a whole different scenario), and an opportunity to spend an afternoon with one of my favorite people on the planet to bear witness to the transformative and powerful inner thoughts and questions of two awe-inspiring women who have changed the world. I've got to go with creating an amazing day, right? Because I only have today.....why not have it be fantastic?
So, after choosing how my day was going to go, this is how it went down. After having the honor to send out an invitation to a bunch of people who applied for the interim job I currently hold to submit some short essays, I really sat with what a blessing it is to be on the team to support in this transition and what it can really mean for me. All I see are so many possibilities and opportunities....to keep engaging with with an amazingly progressive and revolutionary firm that is launching into its 20th and best year yet as well as to stretch and challenge myself to live in my dream and vision for the work it'll take to have the US engage in the work we need to do to revere and honor the profession of teaching. This was so energizing and peaceful all at once. Then, in the spirit of loving myself I decided to take time to go food shopping and get all the nourishment I needed (this meant choosing to re-calendar some things and prioritize taking care of myself first) to treat my body like the sacred temple it is. My grocery routine is pretty particular at this point (it used to be really random and fast, but now I'm much more thoughtful about how and where I shop for food) after spending the year practicing the belief that I love my body and I'm still so surprised and pleased at how much joy this ritual brings me. It includes the downtown Oakland farmer's market, Whole Foods, Costco and Trader Joes...and it takes a few hours to get a few things from each place. But, I get home and have everything I could possibly need and want and my body feels better than it ever has in my entire life. With the sun on my face and Adele's Make You Feel My Love on repeat so I could rehearse it loud and fearlessly, I started my day out in gorgeous Oakland. An unexpected gift has been the healing that has come with a realization of what this song means when it's a love song to myself as I work on manifesting that I am worthy of receiving the kind of powerful love that I'm so easily able to give (try listening to it as a love song to yourself, you'll see!) I couldn't stop smiling and dozens of people smiled and nodded at me as I walked around singing and shopping. I felt so free and fearless...amazing.
After shopping, I was supposed to have tea with a woman who I had a great new connection with at a HAI workshop a few weeks ago, but I started to feel overwhelmed with some more work I had to do before my doctor's appointment. The old me would have crammed it in and stayed feeling overwhelmed, but I decided to practice more self care and simply called her to explain that it would be better for me if we postponed. Of course, she answered the phone with so much excitement to hang out, and for a moment I reconsidered out of obligation to her. But I stopped and chose to share with her that as much as I wanted to see her, I really needed to handle some stuff before my appointment and asked if could we do tea next week. Of course she was so sweet and understanding and it was testimony to the possibility of people loving me more if I love myself first. There was a time that doing something like that made me feel selfish, but really NOT putting my needs first is the selfish act. So we chatted for a little bit on the phone while I headed home and she shared an amazing gift with me as she helped me see that all of the extra (or seemingly new) love I'm receiving in the world (friends, family, new connections, etc.) is simply a mirror of all the work I'm doing. And that when I receive compassion, nurturing, gifts, etc. that it's really because of what I'm putting out there and I can take that as an affirmation of my own transformation and growth. It's always nice to take a moment and honor just how that this hard work is creating so much joy and love. Chalk up another blessing.
After that, I cranked out a little work and headed to the doctor. Just so you know what's going on, as a result of my Pap Smear, I had to get a Colposcopy and a Cervical Biopsy. This was not even close to enjoyable, but taking the time to do this necessary procedure IS loving myself (even though part of me wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from all of the doctors in the hopes that everything would just go away) and I'm really being grateful for my access to preventative care. The doctor isn't worried, and I'll post in a week if there's a problem, but we should all just assume everything is fine (statistically I'm a VERY low risk, so let's just hold on to that.) Most importantly, this was the first time I've had to do anything like this and in many ways it was the most vulnerable I've EVER felt in 37 years. The physical core of womanhood, being so closely examined, scraped and tested was really emotionally intense. I'm certain that it is NO coincidence that the universe provided me with an opportunity to receive strength and feminine love just hours after this procedure.
After the procedure, I had the most amazing honor (on an already incredibly powerful and transformative day) to see two phenomenal women speak on revolution. Grace Lee Boggs and Angela Davis (two feminist activists that I admire) had a conversation at UC Berkeley that left me overflowing with possibility, excitement, and affirmation. It also left me deeply humbled to have been witness to the voices of over 160 years of wisdom, activism and brilliant engagement in transformation of the world. I had to breathe deeply multiple times to really allow myself to take in the power of these two women and visualize that each of us have the potential and courage within to radically transform our thinking, our actions and ultimately shape our lives and the world we exist in. Little was I prepared for how healing and affirming this would be for me exactly when I needed it most.
What did I learn? Whew, so much.....
"Because I was born to Chinese Immigrant parents and because I was born female, I learned very quickly that the world needed changing. But, what I also learned, as I grew older, was that how we change the world and how we think about changing the world has to change.
The time has come for us to RE-IMAGINE everything.....work, labor, revolution, education, community, family, sexual identity, and changes in ourselves. We must move beyond protest." Grace Lee Boggs,
This inspired me to remember that our history has NOTHING to do with our future. We must always be open to our learning that inspires new possibilities. We must never stop at only fighting what doesn't work (protesting), rather engage deeply in the creation and demand for (re)evolution.
With every crisis is danger and opportunity....with every victory comes a new set of challenges.
If this isn't the mantra to systemically and intrinsically internalize the "glass is half full" philosophy, I don't know what is. This embraces how we need to engage in the unexpected, our failures, our victories that are cause for the unknown (i.e. Obama's election and all that we wish he might have done differently) and ultimately, this pushes each of us to always be responsible for the creation of our lives and the world we want to live in.
We must combine philosophy with activism- we can't think anymore that all we have to do is act. We have to do a lot of thinking, use a lot of imagination, and do visionary organizing.
We must always be learning, engaged in dialogue, practicing new ideas, reflecting on the impact of those ideas and actions....and NEVER EVER stop at the technical solution. Our (re)evolution is about our adaptive transformation and how we engage in continual evolution of ourselves, each other and the systems that surround us. All things are possible. All theory is applicable. All theory to action creates the unknown, and this is where the fun is...we get to exercise imagination, critical thinking, experimentation and be in community while doing it! It's such an honor and incredible opportunity...don't you agree?
We have the opportunity to create a new humanity, new society, a whole new paradigm in education. Young people need to be enlisted in the solution of the problems in our community.
The time is now. There is no other time. There is no better time to forge ahead than this moment. Step into your imagination, release yourself of all constraints that the past has (erroneously) put on you and envision a new world, a new life. But, most importantly, engage the youth. They are not jaded as we can be and given the space, support and love, they will teach us more than we dreamed possible and catapult us all into the (re)evolution we choose to create.
We must grow our souls and we must do this IN community by building community- the soul is the capacity to create the world anew. In Neo-Liberalism, we've developed as individuals as if we've forgotten that we are always members of communities. Capitalism is grounded in the possessive individual, but true revolutionaries realize we are connected to each other and every being on the planet.We need human relationships to continue to evolve (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, We must make the transition from a theme oriented to a person oriented society)-- all of us taking responsibility for our security, restore the neighbor in the hood. How can we develop compassionate relations with not only humans, but all of the other creatures in which we share the planet? What does it look like to look beyond the "exchange value" of the product we acquire? What if we were committed to developing the critical habit to imagine all of the relationships impacted by our choices is a revolutionary movement in itself?
The work of a true revolutionary is always caring, thinking, stretching and nourishing ourselves....but never alone. The (re)evolution starts with the self and clearing out all of the baggage our history has weighed us down with. Nothing in our past exists in tomorrow except what we choose to hold on to. Our soul is capable of constant growth, and yet we've been brainwashed to believe that stagnation (achieving some level and staying there or moving incrementally) is an accomplishment. Community, connection and interaction creates energy and movement- the opposite of stagnation- so have the courage and passion to engage community in all of your growth. Doing so offers perspectives, affirmations, support and learning for yourself. But, in the spirit of community, we must remember that the offering of our presence and commitment to community is a gift received by more than we can imagine. The only successful revolutions have started with the growth of one's soul, transcending dialogue and moving into shared experiences of love, learning and leadership where energy builds momentum and creates powerful transformation FIRST in self, then in relationship and finally impact in the world. Whatever fears one might have about engaging our most vulnerable in relationship is only our past trying to keep us stagnant. Shed it. You won't be sorry and the world will get to see the gift of your fullest self.
I love you so much for your contribution in the world...and I hope that the inspiration keeps on flowing. Thanks for reading, thanks for sharing so much of yourselves with me and thank you most of all for all of your love. I'm learning how important it is to take as much as I give. Keep it coming.
Confession: For several years, I've been unable to finish All About Love by bell hooks. Mostly because it's so difficult for me to receive love and imagine a life where balance and reciprocity guide the flow of a loving relationship. Today I'm not afraid to dig into it. I'm committing to finishing this book by my birthday and sharing a blog about how it impacted me as I go into my 38th year. Hold me accountable to continuing the spiritual journey of embracing love fully. Thanks!
Love,
Maureen
*Written while listening to Bootie Loves Whitney, in tribute to another amazingly powerful woman. RIP Whitney.
I am inspired by your dedication, and your progress Maureen. Continue to be the light :)
ReplyDelete